A Longing

Austin has been gone since Friday afternoon. This is the first time that I have gone more than a day without seeing him for almost a year! I know that I am incredibly blessed by this. As he was leaving, I was acutely aware of how longit was going to be before I saw him again, and the pain was intense. When he left, my heart went with him as it belongs to him. At first, I felt sorry for myself, but then I thought more about it. I have a friend who will see her soon-to-be-husband for the first time in over 4 months, the week before they get married. Then she will get to spend a week with him before he deploys for a year! I am so blessed that I get to have Austin by my side every single day!

This thought process led me to another: Do I long after God the way that I am longing after Austin? Do I eagerly anticipate some time alone with God the way that I carry my phone around the house with me so that as soon as it rings I can pick up and talk to the one that I love?

Today I am 33 days away from marrying Austin. I say this because we are counting down by reading Psalms backwards. Today when I was reading Psalm 33 in my quiet time, a passage hit me. (Think little light bulb moment... the *ding* then a chorus singing *ahhh*)

Psalm 33:20-22-

"We wait in hope for the Lord, he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love be with us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you."

As I read that, I couldn't help but question myself. Have I been waiting in hope for the Lord? Have I been putting my trust in His name?

That led me to another one of my favorite passages in Scripture:

Isaiah 40:29-31-

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope [other versions say wait upon] in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

I thank God for allowing this weekend of separation that I might be reminded of His promises to me if I simply put my hope in Him. Don't get me wrong, it is perfectly alright to miss the one that you love (in fact I would be worried if you didn't!) The key is to use that longing to lead you right back to God. Everything in our relationships with others, especially with our significant other, is supposed to point us back to the one who created us, who loves us most of all.

Austin comes back today and I cannot wait for his car to pull in the driveway. I will eagerly run to him and be wrapped up in his embrace. I only hope that I will remember to wait on the Lord with such eager anticipation!